This is not the type of post I want to write at Christmas. This is not the type of post I ever want to write. I am unhappy. Yes, I have been blessed by getting such a wonderful (most of the time) family and I have great friends, but I am not happy. I've just spent the past half hour crying off all of my makeup. It's a combination of hormones, yet another Christmas alone, not having the family time like we used to, lack of decent sleep, watching too many sappy Christmas movies, being alone/unloved/unwanted, and not knowing what I'm supposed to do with my life. I'm tired of having a bad attitude around my family and not knowing how to pretend being happy.
I wish my family did family stuff. I hate not being able to talk to anyone because they are all busy with family during the holidays and my family doesn't do anything. That's one of the things I miss about Michigan. My grandparents would make the rounds to all the grandkids on Christmas morning and then we would all go over for dinner. I miss the big family stuff more than I thought I would.
I really don't have anything more to say. Probably shouldn't.
