Surrender.

           Yesterday was my 23rd birthday. This was the first birthday I've had in a while where I actually felt older. Usually there is no difference, but this time, something changed.
          I'm going to make 23 the best year ever. I'm going to graduate (in 54 days!!), pass the NCLEX on the first try, work as a camp nurse for 6 weeks, get a grown-up job, finally get my own car, move out, and begin my adult life. Yes, it's going to be difficult and I'm probably going to hate it at times, but it's going to be mine. And no one will be able to take that from me. I'm responsible for my own happiness. No one else. I've got to stop letting what other people do or say dictate my emotions. It's time for me to start acting like an adult. Not a grown-up, I'm just tired of feeling like I'm still a teenager. I'm going to be a LEGIT nurse in less than 3 months. It's time I start acting like a professional.

          It's also high time I surrender my pen to God. I've proven time and time again that I cannot write my own love story and I need to stop trying. God has something beyond-my-wildest-dreams amazing planned and I need to let it happen. In HIS timing.

"A quiet challenge deeply touched my spirit in that moment, as if God were tenderly standing before me with tears of boundless love in His eyes, whispering to my heart... You have searched for true love in your own way. But My ways are not your ways. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must trust Me with the pen of this precious area of your life. Will you let Me write your love story?" - When God Writes Your Love Story

          I'm done trying to figure this out on my own. God, YOU already know where my story goes. I surrender my pen to you. Bring me to my husband in Your timing. Not mine. As difficult as it will be, I'll wait as long as it takes.