Desire.

Why am I a Christian?
     Because I always have been. I can't remember a time before God. Having grown up in the church, I know how to pretend in church. I know the facial expressions to have plastered on my face to show the best "worship" look. I know the right time and degree to raise or lower my hands. I know when tears make me look more "religious."
     I feel like having known God all my life has made me take him for granted. It's like he's been a friend that I've known for forever and I'm good only talking to him every couple of days.
     This post has made me write down a couple of things I've known for a while.
I'm tired of wanting to be a Christian.
I'm tired of "acting" like one.
I'm tired of spending time with them.
I'm tired of religious phrases that I am numb to because they are repeated so often they have lost their meaning.
I'm tired of "wanting" God.
But you know what? I desire God.
I desire for him to be my best friend.
I desire for my life to change.
I desire to be real.
I desire God to be real in my life.
I desire God to be real through my life.

     I've realized that want and desire are two different things, or at least they are in my head/heart. It didn't take much time for me to see the difference, I hope you can see it too.
     Here are how the two words are alike:
Want: to wish, need, crave, or desire
Desire: crave, want, or to express a wish to obtain

     The two differences I found are below:
Want: demand
Desire: ask for or request

     Want seems so selfish. Desire seems like there is heart behind the need; there is a yearning for something, not just a greedy "give me" mentality.

I desire life. I desire love. I desire God.