Success.

What is success?
Success is defined as "the accomplishment of one's goals" (dictionary.com).

If we were to measure success as is defined, by all accounts, I am successful. I've graduated nursing school, passed boards, obtained 3 jobs in my degree field, graduated with my Bachelors, started working on my Masters, and purchased my first home all on my own.

I want to view myself as successful, but I don't. Success to me would be owning the title of wife and mother, both of which I am nowhere close to achieving. When I see friends getting married and starting families of their own, I feel like a failure.

As I'm writing this, listening to Christmas music, Canon in D is playing. Until I was introduced to The Piano Guys, I wanted to walk down the aisle to that song. Hearing it every Christmas reminds me I am no closer to my self defined success. Everyone tells me I need to be happy with myself now and the life I'm living, and I am to an extent. Maya Angelou defines success as "liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." On that account, I view myself as successful. I'm a great nurse and I like what I do on most days. It's just not enough sometimes. While work and school keep my mind busy, my heart still hurts. I'm okay being single right now, I really am, but 16 year-old Michelle wanted to be married and having her first child by 25 and that's not happening.