Dreams.

So last night I had a dream that I married Mr. Bates from Downton Abbey. (We saw a clip from an episode last night so it wasn't as random as it sounds. :) Anyways. It's super depressing to wake up after being happily married and realizing you are still single. And still alone.

Nothing else to say. Life is pretty much the same. I'm in nursing school. That's about it.

True understanding.

Why is it when I see my 14-18 year old friends on facebook go from "being in a relationship" to "single" I want to like it?! Is it because I'm not in a relationship so I enjoy when others feel my pain? Nope. It's because yesterday they were professing their love for the other person and bragging how they were the perfect couple and tomorrow they will say something depressing about how the other person ruined their life, but the next day will post something about the leftovers they are eating for lunch. I don't get it. When does the true understanding of love and relationships begin?

Answers.

What does it mean when you pray for something and a possible answer presents itself? I prayed for more opportunities and it happened. I am so confused. Was it just chance or was it a partial answer to my prayer??
I'm typing this on my iPod as I wait for my parents plane to land. So I can't expound as much as I would like. But I just need to voice my thoughts right now. Was this an answer? Or was it just a random happening? I wish I had the answers to those questions. :/

Singleness.

I have only become satisfied in my singleness in the past few weeks. Up until the beginning of last month, I was unhappy with my life and the direction God was taking me. I bought a book called "Am I the One? - Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying" at a used bookstore just by chance. It has changed my entire view of singleness. God has kept me single for a reason. I need to love God with everything I have before I bring a man into my life. After reading this book, I realized I am not a person worth marrying. Now. I am a Christian, but I am not in a CLOSE relationship with God. I have started to fall in love with God. It's an amazing feeling! I am still learning who I am as a person and who God has called me to become. God is doing some wonderful things in my life right now and He continues to amaze me every day! I also bought one of those daily Bibles and that has helped me grow SO much. It used to be a chore to read the Bible and this has kept me accountable and actually given me such a desire to read the Bible.

Here's a paragraph that I read tonight:
Singleness is a gift because God gives it to everyone. No one starts out married. And singleness is a gift because it provides us time to think and do things without the encumbrances of marriage. It gives the time to "be devoted to the Lord without distractions" (1 Corinthians 7: 35)

Dream.

I had an incredible dream last night. I met the man I am going to marry.
I don't remember what he looked like, but he was amazing. I usually don't remember what people say in my dreams, but what he said to me really stood out.
He said, "Wait for me to find you. I'm just waiting for you to be ready. God is working in your life right now, and I don't want to step in and mess things up. Just be patient and let God have His way with you. I'm not going anywhere."
Oh. My. Goodness.

Why?

I know it's been a long time since I posted, but I just haven't had the time. Life gets going and before you know it, a month has gone by.

Anyways. I got back from a two-week trip to Ireland on Monday (It was amazing by the way!!) and I just wanted to point this out:

They showed No Strings Attached on the airplane coming home from Dublin. I hadn't watched it because it was rated R for lots of stuff.

I didn't mind the movie. I thought it was pretty good and I really wondered why it had been rated R... It seemed to me that it could have been PG and been fine.. hardly any language, no "bad scenes," etc.

 So. I just looked it up on IMDb... WOW! They took out a LOT of stuff... I mean A LOT of stuff!! Language, dialogue, entire scenes... you get the drift. (WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THE MOVIE.)

My point is:
Why? Why do we feel the need to add all that garbage to movies? It was perfectly fine without all the "extras". I was shocked when I saw how much sexual content (even dialogue) was in that movie. And language? Is it really necessary to use the cuss words to emphasize your point?!

Like Jane.

So. I'm really on a Pride and Prejudice kick right now. Don't know why…

I've always thought I was just like Elizabeth. Lively, witty, judgmental, not afraid to speak my opinion. 

And in some ways, I guess I still am. But now I'm thinking I'm more like Jane than Lizzy.  I'm not a shy person, unless I'm around new people, or uncomfortable. 

If I'm interested in a guy, I hide my emotions behind a wall. I become closed off and distant. (I come across as indifferent… Like Jane.) Yes, there are times you can see my emotions in my eyes/face… most of the time it's when I'm mad or just peeved. 

When I'm around guy-friends I joke and I'm my usual bubbly self, (probably comes across as flirting) but when I'm around a guy that attracts me, I clam up, close myself off, and probably come across as stuck up. I don't know what to do differently. 

I don't want to go through what Jane went through. Yes, in the end, she gets Mr. Bingley, but not after going through some serious heart-ache. 

I think I'm scared that if I fall in love with a guy, he will change his mind and leave me with a broken heart. I've always dreamed that the first guy I "date" will be the one I marry. I don't want to be one of those girls that dates a new guy every other weekend. I want to give the man I marry my whole heart.