Relief.

That moment where you decide to let God take over certain aspects of your life, namely a certain guy you REALLY like (way more than a kiddie crush), and you feel this peace that you didn't know existed. OMG. 

Yeah... I met this guy and I don't know how to describe him, he's so unlike any guy I've met before. He's so totally amazing and I could really see myself falling for him rather easily. We spent quite a bit of time together a few weeks ago and talked a lot. And then there was nothing. No texts, no Facebook, nothing. I don't get it. He basically started ignoring me. I mean I know life gets busy, but seriously? I didn't say/do anything to cause this. 

Anyways... I realized that if he's not the man God has for me, I sure am wasting a lot of time dreaming about this guy. I seriously like this guy, but I'm not going to sit around mope if he doesn't see what he's missing. :) 

God seriously got a hold of me yesterday and sort of kicked me in the pants. If it's supposed to happen, it will. I can't do one thing about it. Keep living.

What a relief. I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Leap Day 2012

Well... I really didn't feel like posting anything, but I realized how potentially beneficial this could be to write how/where I am in life on this Leap Day and next time there's a Leap Day, I will compare lists. :)

1. I'm single
2. I'm in nursing school
3. I'm blonde
4. Still living at home (Hey! I'm only 20!)
5. I'm 20
6. Hannah is my best friend in the whole entire world
7. J&J just got engaged tonight
8. Nate is a senior 
9. Ryan is a freshmen
10. I feel so lonely right now
11. I'm healthy
12. Can't play guitar yet
13. Favorite books right now are the Hunger Games series (can't wait for the movie!)
14. Favorite song is A Thousand Years by Christina Perri followed by Always Only You by Josh Wilson
15. Favorite artist is probably Michael Buble
16. Favorite movie is The Young Victoria
17. Favorite TV show is either Castle or Alias
18. Cooking is a great hobby
19. Only been to Ireland and the Toronto Airport

Well, if I want to post this on Leap Day, I had better wrap this up...

I'm done for tonight. Emotionally spent.

Goodnight.

Dreams.

So last night I had a dream that I married Mr. Bates from Downton Abbey. (We saw a clip from an episode last night so it wasn't as random as it sounds. :) Anyways. It's super depressing to wake up after being happily married and realizing you are still single. And still alone.

Nothing else to say. Life is pretty much the same. I'm in nursing school. That's about it.

True understanding.

Why is it when I see my 14-18 year old friends on facebook go from "being in a relationship" to "single" I want to like it?! Is it because I'm not in a relationship so I enjoy when others feel my pain? Nope. It's because yesterday they were professing their love for the other person and bragging how they were the perfect couple and tomorrow they will say something depressing about how the other person ruined their life, but the next day will post something about the leftovers they are eating for lunch. I don't get it. When does the true understanding of love and relationships begin?

Answers.

What does it mean when you pray for something and a possible answer presents itself? I prayed for more opportunities and it happened. I am so confused. Was it just chance or was it a partial answer to my prayer??
I'm typing this on my iPod as I wait for my parents plane to land. So I can't expound as much as I would like. But I just need to voice my thoughts right now. Was this an answer? Or was it just a random happening? I wish I had the answers to those questions. :/

Singleness.

I have only become satisfied in my singleness in the past few weeks. Up until the beginning of last month, I was unhappy with my life and the direction God was taking me. I bought a book called "Am I the One? - Clues to Finding and Becoming a Person Worth Marrying" at a used bookstore just by chance. It has changed my entire view of singleness. God has kept me single for a reason. I need to love God with everything I have before I bring a man into my life. After reading this book, I realized I am not a person worth marrying. Now. I am a Christian, but I am not in a CLOSE relationship with God. I have started to fall in love with God. It's an amazing feeling! I am still learning who I am as a person and who God has called me to become. God is doing some wonderful things in my life right now and He continues to amaze me every day! I also bought one of those daily Bibles and that has helped me grow SO much. It used to be a chore to read the Bible and this has kept me accountable and actually given me such a desire to read the Bible.

Here's a paragraph that I read tonight:
Singleness is a gift because God gives it to everyone. No one starts out married. And singleness is a gift because it provides us time to think and do things without the encumbrances of marriage. It gives the time to "be devoted to the Lord without distractions" (1 Corinthians 7: 35)

Dream.

I had an incredible dream last night. I met the man I am going to marry.
I don't remember what he looked like, but he was amazing. I usually don't remember what people say in my dreams, but what he said to me really stood out.
He said, "Wait for me to find you. I'm just waiting for you to be ready. God is working in your life right now, and I don't want to step in and mess things up. Just be patient and let God have His way with you. I'm not going anywhere."
Oh. My. Goodness.